Lost in Oblivion
by rebecca.258h
Summary: What becomes of Christian Grey when he isn't exposed to a lifestyle that would shape who he could possible become? Christian Grey descends down into a man that is lost to his emotional torment and the only person standing between him and a long fall from a high bridge is Anastasia Steele.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost in Oblivion**

**Chapter One**

Life is good as I thought to myself sitting on the train. It could be worse; I have a great family, wonderful friends and an amazing job.

_- But why do I feel so lost. -_

I sat staring into oblivion as the train rushed into the darkness past each station, one by one. People came and went. There was nothing to look at except for the silly advertisements and the tired faces of everyone making their way to work. Just like me they were all dozing off.

How embarrassing would it be to fall asleep on the train, I would probably miss my stop.

Struggling to keep my eyes open, the train finally arrived at King station, downtown. The doors open and people rush out like a river becoming undammed.

Slowly waking from my daydreaming, I begin the great migration to the office. As I journey my way out of the station and onto the street. The downtown core of Toronto sweeps you away. It is like being at the bottom of a canon with glass and steel rising up above you. The breeze is funnelled down churning into a wind that fly's every which way. The wind picks my hair up as if it was like loose feathers trying to fly away.

Damn it, now my hair is a mess. Quickly as I tame this wild beast, I glance at my watch that says nine twenty am**. **Crap, I'm already late, today is going to be a fantastic day I thought sarcastically.

While channelling my inner phantom, I creep across the lobby towards the office. Nine thirty five the clock above the receptionist says mockingly.

Slipping coolly across the office l finally arrive at my desk. _Yeah, I'm not late; nobody saw me._

* * *

"HHHEEEYYY!" howled an overly enthusiastic voice as I was finally sorting myself out.  
I can see her; Kate is walking towards me eagerly to announce her presence.

"Hey girl" Kate said.

"What's up, you're very excited this morning." I replied.

"Anastasia Steele" she commanded," it is your birthday and we are going to celebrate".

"Tonight" I huffed. Great, I just turned twenty three today and I haven't lived a day of my life, what will change now.

"Yes, it is Friday, you are coming to my apartment and we are going out" she said enthusiastically.

Sounding slightly annoyed I replied "you should have asked last night, I would have brought some clothes and stuff with me today".

"Never you mind, I have everything you need" said Kate.

I really don't mind going out and having fun, but I have become rather lazy and this sort of shenanigans just doesn't interest me anymore.

"You should really think about moving downtown with me, I have an extra room that I could rent to you super cheap. That way you wouldn't be late for work anymore" she said with a hug smile on her face.

"Late" I said theatrically, deep down I was a little embarrassed that someone noticed my arrival time.

Kate smiled and spun around gracefully on her heel to leave and let me get back to work.

* * *

Jack Hyde has just entered the room. His presence sends a small shiver down my spine. _He's such a creeper._

"Good morning Ana" he said.

"Hello, sir."

"We are having a meeting, t-minus 5 minutes. You are expected doll," Jack saying with a mouth full of cheezies.

Who says that, he must read too many comic books or something, everything that comes out of his mouth that isn't food is so awkward and embarrassing to hear.

Just before lunch I watch Jack in the corner of my eye, I can see him making a fuss over the fact that he just jammed up the printer and is giving the secretary Lydia a hard time about it.

Jack needs to relax; he is going to give himself a heart attack one of these days.

Suddenly he picks up the printer and throws it across the room.

Wow someone really flipped a lid this morning; although this isn't exactly out of the ordinary behaviour for Jack. Two weeks ago, he picked up a decorative stone ball when he lost his temper and threw it through the glass aquarium in the lobby.

"Mister Hyde" blasted Wayne, the head of Toronto Independent Media "you need to control these outbursts or I will file a complaint with HR".

Great, Jack's ego has just been smacked across the face, he is going to be in a foul mood all day and we all know he is going to take it out on everyone in the office.

* * *

Five thirty didn't come soon enough; Kate was waiting for me to meet her at the front. She looked like she just woken up from a peaceful slumber and was on vacation all week. Stress doesn't affect her the same way it does most mortal people.

"Hey, how was your day, I heard what Jack did." Kate said with a fierce grin on her face."He is such a loser".

"I was there; he was so tense all day. Wayne threatened him today about going off the deep end again." I said.

"Do you think he is becoming mentally unstable" asked Kate.

"That would make a lot of sense."

"Oh well, lets get rolling, I have some new movies we should watch and then we can get ready and go out," Kate said diverting the conversation.

"We are going to have to take the subway, I hope you don't mind" said Kat.

"Like the subway is a foreign entity to me" I said sarcastically as we both laughed.

"Ethan has my car; he's taking out some bridle path princess tonight. Her name is Mia Grey, have you ever heard of her."

"No, I don't believe I know anyone from the bridle path," I said.

The subway wasn't nearly as busy as this morning, but more and more people filled up the car as we cruised westward towards the direction of Kate's apartment.

I scanned the car briefly, nothing particularity caught my eye. Occasionally the odd person comes on the train and they are dressed like a clown or something similar to one.

While waiting for our stop to arrive, I notice a skeleton of a man. He looked devoid of any life or emotion. Yet, he physically resembled something more closely to a Greek god than a person. He radiated an extremely intimidating ambience around himself. Everyone standing near him made sure they stood at least two feet away. A very rough, almost dangerous looking person, as if he had just wrestled a lion with his bare hands. This man was sitting there just minding his own business staring at the ground, withdrawn and intense.

Suddenly I feel dark grey eyes burning into my soul. His gaze rips through my chest sucking the air out of my lungs.

Ding, the sound of my heart stopping, no it's our subway stop arriving and I quickly manoeuvre my way out of the train as fast as I possibly can. The charge those eyes just gave me was like an electrical shock to my system, something I never experienced before. I can feel the beat of my heart thumping up out of my ears and down through my toes.

"Let's go Ana," Kate ushering me through the subway station, "we're on a schedule".

Hastily we made it up to her apartment. The view from her window was a perfectly framed the city.

* * *

As we watch one of the movies, we ate pasta and had wine, a meal fit for two queens.

While sitting on the couch watching the last movies, I struggle to try and remove the look of those grey eyes from my mind. They have me totally bewitched.

A wave of anxiety overwhelms me as I thought. He must think I am some sort of creep, staring at people on the train. Oh why can't I just whip this memory from my mind, it will torture me for the rest of my life.

There is only one way to remove this vision from my mind and its name is alcohol. I am not one to go on binges. Considering the circumstances, I will be making a special exception tonight.

After spending two hours of fusing and primping, both me a Kate are ready. A couple of our friends came over and we will be going out as a group.

"How are you feeling" said Kate addressing my overly enthusiastic behaviour, which is substantially out of the ordinary for me.

"I feel fabulous" I said with both my hands in the air. Boy do I feel good. We started drinking while we where getting ready and now I not quite sure how good my makeup looks.

The rest of the night was a blur but I knew it was fun.

* * *

As I wake up, I feel the gaze of grey eyes flow through my mind. Damn it, the embarrassment of that awkward moment is festering inside of me again. I looked over and I could see Kate watching TV.  
"What time is it?" I ask.

"6 a.m." Kate muttered "How do you feel."

"Pretty good, actually," I said with a sigh, "how about you".

"I feel like I've been just hit by a truck," she said with a pained look on her face, "are you ready for part two tonight".

All I do is let out a loud groan.

"I think I need to go home and get some clean underwear and a tooth brush."

"Just make sure you come back."

As I get up I can feel the alcohol dripping from my pores. I pull back my hair and pin it up. I grab a pair of Kate's Yoga pants, pair of running shoes and a white t-shirt. Quickly as I am dressed, I clean up my face and give Kate a farewell wave. I think she might have fallen asleep again.

The light in the sky is low, it is very early. I quickly scramble across the living room floor and I notice Laura and Sarah passed out on the couch. Silently I close the door and make my way down the apartment building.

* * *

Standing at the edge subway platform I can hear the low hum of the train arriving. The breeze of the train flows through and slowly the train comes to a stop and the doors slide open. I walk like a zombie staggering to sit. My head is starting to hurt, why I didn't just sleep in is beyond me.

Someone across the seat near me whispers, "Are you alright."

Lacking the strength to look up, I reply grimly, "I'm fine."

"You don't look to good; your face has a sort of green look to it," the person replies.

Whatever, I let out a quiet groan.

"You should probably be home resting," the voice lectures.

Whose business is it to tell me what to do? I look up with an aggravated frown across my face and into the eyes that I saw not less than a day ago. I briefly sat shocked and without suppression of my verbal auto pilot, my lips move, "what is it to you, you don't look any better," I said with a little sass escaping from my voice.

Shit, what the heck did I just say? Where is my verbal censorship when I need it?

Hoy crap, he looks like he just had the shit kicked out of him. He had a massive black eye and large bruises cascading across his arms and face. His knuckles where oozing with blood.

"Are you okay," I said with utter shock plastered across my face.

He retreats to himself as if I didn't ask the question and looks down to the ground saying nothing. I sat in silence for the next ten minutes as the train continued to move not moving a muscle. I can feel my heart beating through my head, unable to move sitting paralyzed across from this man. He barely shows any sign of life for nearly ten minutes as well. Then the sound of a ring of the subway car dances across the speaker and the train comes to a stop.

This isn't my stop, but I see him move to get up, briefly he looks into my eyes for fraction of a second and in response I slightly bite my lip as he gets up to leave. Why did I just do that, it must be like a nervous twitch or something.

As the Subway doors close, I feel every muscle in my body relax and I dramatically exhale.

Wow, that was so intense. I must have barely breathed for that whole time, I felt like passing out sitting there.

Those grey eyes where the same ones I saw yesterday, yet the person I saw today looked as if he had be dragged beneath a bus. Something must have happened last night; it looked like he was bad news. I was able to get a clear picture of him sitting on the train across from me.

He towered over everyone else, and I'd say 6'5" give or take a couple of inches. I didn't smell any alcohol on him and he didn't look like a drug user. But he was definitely did not look like an outstanding citizen. Maybe he is a criminal, something like that. Any which way, he was bad news by his looks. But Jesus Christ was he good looking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

After nearly an hour of commuting back to my apartment, the realization of what had happened stuck with me like it occurred five minutes ago.

Looking at myself in the mirror I wondered, he was right I probably shouldn't have been on the train and I should have slept in. _But then I would have missed him_. I slowly walk to my bed and tip over like a falling tree onto my bed. I am so tired, I thought drifting off to sleep.

Waking to the sound of my phone ringing, it's Kate. Crap, what time is it. 11:30 am. That's okay, but I think she will be wanting me back.

"Hello," I answer the phone sheepishly.

"Good morning sleepy head, rise and shine, time to get your butt back here," said Kate.

_How is she so alive? When I left her, Kate looked like she was on her death bed?_

"Okay," I said.

"Don't worry I'm sending Ethan to pick you up, he will be there around 1:30," she snapped, "You have two hours."

"Okay," I said half-asleep.

"Later Steele," Kate replied as she disconnected the call.

I roll out of bed and crawling across the floor into the shower. I turn it on and hot water steams out. I climb to my feet and undress. Oh this hot water feels so good. I needed this.

As I stand soaking in the water, I can see those forbidden grey eyes staring back at me. They have me totally under their control.

As I finish packing my belongings for the next two days, 1:30 rolls around and Ethan arrives, right on time. Quickly I collect all of my stuff and I head out the door. Ethan is standing near the car as he greets me.

"Hey Ana," he says, "I have a friend that I'd like you to meet."

"Oh, alright. We better get going, Kate is demanding me back at her apartment," I say as I am walking toward the car.

Noticing a figure in the car, a girl with a gigantic smile pokes her head out the window "Hey, I'm Mia."

I greet her back with a friendly smile as I am contriving a way to get my bag into the car. So this is Mia Grey, she already seems like a very pleasant girl. I enter the back seat and I see Mia turn around to look at me with a big smile plastered across her face.

"Ethan has told me so much about you and Kate."

"Have you ever met Kate before?" I ask.

"No, not yet," Mia replies.

"Mia and I are going out with you tonight. Kate told us about the wild night you guys had," Ethan says with a grin.

"Oh that will be fun, although I don't think it's going to be anything outrageous tonight," I said trying to downplay the events that are going to take place tonight. _I really don't fell like going out_.

Ethan changes the conversations, "so have you talked to Kate about renting a room at the apartment."

"Yeah, I'm thinking about it." It is a nice apartment and it would be a lot closer to everything.

Ethan drives the car onto the highway and we travel downtown, we chat about stuff. Mia talks about her family, how her mother is a Doctor and her father is a Lawyer. That she has an older brother named Elliot who owns a very successful construction company and that his parents are very proud of him.

Arriving to the apartment, Kate is waiting for us alone. Totally unfazed by the events that occurred last night, Ethan introduces her to Mia. They hit it of immediately.

"I've ordered pizza!" Kate exclaims.

As we sit and eat pizza Mia gives a detailed description of how she and Ethan first met. He was traveling in Europe and she was studying in Paris. Their relationship bloomed when they went on a date to the French countryside.

After a brief lunch, I mention to Kate that I needed to run to the store to get a couple of supplies. Leaving the group who where watching some over played action movie on TV.

Quickly I finish my errands and I grab a bubble tea. Making my way towards the apartment I walk past a store that looked rather interesting. Entering the shop, the theme that was displayed on the outside dramatically changes into something else.

Slowly looking around, I pick something up. It's a leather whip, what the heck is this, some sort of torture device.

Oh no, I just walked into an erotic bondage shop.

Barely able to contain my shock, the store employee approaches me asking if I need any help. She is decked out in a shiny plastic dress with knee high boots.

"Can I help you," she asks.

Stunned by my discovering I ask flabbergasted, "do you have a women's clothing section?"

Smiling pleasantly she says, "follow me."

As we arrive she asks curiously "do you participate in any form of BDSM."

Out of the blue I say "yes" quickly followed by, "but I am new and I'm not very familiar with it."

What the heck was that, no I do not do this. Anastasia Steele, what have you gotten yourself into now? Looking around a lot of the cloths they sold here was just too risky for me.

Sitting on the end of a rack, I notice a floaty short black slick dress.

Holy Moses does this look good on me. All those months of kicking my butt in the gym really did pay off.

As I pay for the dress, the store employee says that the dress I just bought was made by a local designer from just down the street and that it is one of a kind. She also mentions that every Saturday night, they hold a party in the shop.

"You should come and meet some people, a lot of people come every week and you might be able to expand your knowledge," she says with a wink, "it starts at 11:30pm and usually runs tell 4 or 5 am."

"Ohhh, I'll think about," trying to sound interested. _Not in a million years_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Upon returning to the apartment, I arrive into a dark room, the lights are off and the curtains are drawn closed. I see a figure of a person standing in the dark and then suddenly Kate, Mia and Ethan jump out of the darkness screaming "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

"Gees guys, I'm not five anymore" I said.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Ethan walks into the living room while Kate, Mia and I are relaxing on the couch.

"I have some bad news," Ethan says with a grim frown, "I have to go into work for a bit."

"I can meet you guys out later though."

"That's alright," says Kate looking with a sly grin at Mia.

"I have to get going, I'll be back tonight."

As he turns away into the other room, Mia runs over to say good bye to Ethan.

* * *

At the dance club with Kate and Mia. We sat having drinks at one of the tables to the side of the dance floor.

"I think my brother is going to be out tonight," says Mia "I'll see if he wants to meet up."

She looks down at her phone and is writing a message. This will be interesting, I wondering what her brother is like; I've already heard great things about him. He seems to be the pride of her family.

"Let's go dance and get some more drinks," Kate exclaims.

Time flies when your have fun dancing. The group of us take a break by the bar to rest our poor feet to get more drinks. It looks like tonight we aren't going to be taking easy on the booze after all.

Soon enough Mia grabs a man that is walking in our direction. She introduces both me and Kate to Elliot. He stood there with a sticking pose of confidence and distinction. His eyes have been criss-crossing the bar as we approach him and they soon meet those of Kate. There attraction radiated passion immediately. He was clearly taken back by Kate's beauty. Slightly acknowledging me out of kindness and so I don't take any offence. None was taken as these feelings of attraction that Kate has towards Elliot, are not the same from me. He is a pleasant guy with blond hair and dashing good looks, yet they aren't enough to capture my desire.

Oh Miss Katherine Kavanagh, seeing you glow with attraction leaves a warmth of happiness within me.

Struggling to take his attention off of Kate's shimmering eyes, Elliot whispers a small secret to his younger sister Mia who is equally taken back by Kate and Elliot's attraction for each other. Her response is grave and sadness fills her expression. She gives Elliot a long look of displeasure at the message that he had just entrusted her with.

Both me and Kate watch quizzically and wonder what such a secret can turn Mia's positive mood into something that is completely out of character for her.

Kate pips up, "what's the matter Mia."

"Oh it is nothing really."

Elliot trying to sound agreeably towards Kate spills the beans "I have to go a meet up with my brother."

"I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks and I am worried about him."

This is news; Mia failed to acknowledge the existence of another brother. Something smells fishy here. As we stood talking, I see Ethan approach us wrapping his hands around Mia's waist to her surprised excitement.

Our group decides to rejoin the dance floor. I slip away to go to the bathroom, trying to avoid the awkward position of being a third wheel.

Coming back to the dance floor with another new drink, I am feeling good. I can't see anyone and so I just go in a dance with the packed group of people and I dance like no one is watching.

What seemed like an eternity, Kate comes and pulls me away from some guys that I was intoxicated making out with. She pulls me into her arms and swirls me around dramatically. She equally as drunk as I am explains that she lost Mia and Ethan and that Elliot had to go do something or she can't quite remember.

"We should probably get going, it is really late," I said yelling over the music.

* * *

The illogical idea of the night besides drink way too much was to walk home from the club that was all the way downtown. We both were not particularly dressed for any sort of long walks and wearing heals does not add to the comfort level. As we begin our journey back, both me and Kate have a very emotional heart to heart, the alcohol was speaking and we spill our guts to each other.

"So Kate what are your feelings of Mister Grey," I ask.

"Oh, I can't explain it," she says dramatically, "it is so unbelievable how I feel about him."

Stumbling down the sidewalk we walk block by block in shear pain. I can feel my feet throbbing. This isn't good. Slowly as we get closer to the apartment, I notice a large crowd surrounding a shop. Oh this is that store I was in earlier, they are having their party.

I drag a very drunk Kate into the store behind me. Looking around, it was interesting the different people, some looked normal and others where exceptionally out of the ordinary characters.

"I had no idea Ana," says mortified as she looks around "you never told me."

"It's not like that," I said "I was shopping and I accidentally came in, they said they hold parties here."

"Riiiight," she says squinting one eye.

As wee looked around Kate and I joked around. Kate picked up a black riding whip. I slightly bend forward and stick my butt out. Covering my mouth with my hand, Kate smacks me hard on the back end with the whip.

"Oh my," I say giggling.

After about ten minutes of this, Kate and I decide that it is probably time to leave. As we turn toward the door, a tall young man with dark hair approaches use. He instantly establishes eye contact with me with a fervent gaze.

"Hello," he says.

"My name is Jose Rodriquez," he says introducing himself.

"Hi," I say quietly, "I am Ana and this is Kate."

Both of us look at each other, knowingly that we probably shouldn't be here, it would probably be best that we don't lead him on.

Kate seems to have disappeared leaving me to talk with Jose for a few minutes.

He asks if I participate in BDSM and keeping true to my lie, I say "Yes I do."

_What is this about Ana? Do you have a death wish?_

"I have a partner and we are looking for a third person to participate with."

Trying to sound flattering, "You would be perfect, would you be interested."

_Holy shit Ana, this is just too wild for you. _

"Umm, I'll think about it."

"Okay, this is my number if you are still interested," he says with a grin and turns to leave.

Not in my life time I thought. I better go find Kate; I would hate to lose her to this group of people.

There she is, she is pressing questions upon a man in a black Speedo and a mask on his head. She is arguing with him about some obscure fact. He looks like he isn't too thrilled with her.

_Ana to the rescue. _

Quickly we make our way out the door as fast as we can.

* * *

Walking down the street, I feel Kate pulling me off to the side to hide around the corner so that she isn't noticed by someone.

"What is it," I say.

"Look, it's Elliot."

I briefly tip my head around the side and I see him sitting with someone, who has there back turned to us. They are on the patio of the bar. Kate takes a deep breath and turns around the corner where she manoeuvres her way around the patio barrier. Plopping herself down next to Elliot.

Elliot is momentarily lost with confusing, not knowing who it is. But when he realizes that it is Kate, he beams a smile across his face.

"How are you guys tonight," he says.

"We are fantastic," she says all breathy.

Kate keep it together. He can probably smell the alcohol on you. This isn't going to end well.

Although something tells me Kate is perfectly fine with it.

As I slowly approach the table with a exhausted stagger and I great Elliot.

"Hello Ana," he says still looking at Kate in the corner of his eye.

"What happened to Mia," he asks.

"I think she disappeared with Ethan earlier."

"Oh ya," he says questioning.

"I should introduce you girls to my younger brother," he says directing his had to the man across the table "Christian."

I look down at the brooding man that sits not a foot from where I am standing. He turns his head with grace and I look into a pair of dark grey eyes.

_Oh, it's him._

He is Mia's brother! This is the dangerous looking man that I haven't been able to remove from my mind for the past day and a half. Crap. There must be some sort of issues that stand between him and his family, knowing the little things such as Mia ignoring to mention him as her brother.

"Hello," I squeak.

Elliot introduces us, "this is Ana" pointing towards me, "and this is Kate" he says wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"You look familiar," trying to sound ignorant of my knowledge. I definitely do recognize this person.

He lets out a small smile slide across his lips. My legs quiver, he already has me under his spell.

Looking at his face, that black eye he has is barely noticeable. Maybe it is the lighting. I decide that it is for the better not to bring it up in fear that he'll completely shut down again like the last time.

Elliot gestures to me to sit down and I slowly lower my self to the seat next to Christian. Feeling that I can barely contain my nervousness, I sit still not moving a muscle again. What is it that I can't control my nerves in the presence of this man? We have barely spoken a word to each other and yet I feel like my soul is drawn near his. It is something that I have never felt before.

While we sat, Christian stayed silent barely speaking a word to anyone. What is his problem; I've never met someone so withdrawn before.

"How has your night been so far," Elliot asks quickly looking at me and then back to stare at Kate.

"Fun," I say tiredly.

"Oh you wouldn't believe where Ana dragged me," Kate blabbers.

Oh no, I bury my head into my hands. Kate. Please don't. I can't handle this embarrassment.

"She brought me to a BDMS shop!" she beams.

Both men turn their heads in my direction, giving me a raised eyebrow.

"You know, Ana is into that sort of thing," she says giggling.

"It's not like that, I don't do that sort of thing," denying her accusations, I hold my head in my hands out of embarrassment.

* * *

After having all these drinks, I need to go empty my bladder and give my nerves a short break.

"I'll be right back," looking knowingly at Kate and Elliot that I'll probably lose her tonight to him.

As I walk in the direction of the restroom. I shake my hands to relieve the stress that has been built up inside of me.

After finishing up in the restroom, I look deep into the mirror. I still look pretty good considering how late it is and how much I have had to drink.

Upon returning to the table, I soon come to the realization that Kate and Elliot have left. Christian is standing facing the other way where he slowly slipping his leather jacket up his long muscular arms. I stand drooling slightly. _Ana, where are you manners!_

After I come back to reality, panic begins to set in. I walk over and I ask nervously.

"umm, do you know where Kate went," questioning Christian.

"I think she went home with Elliot," Christian says in an impassive tone.

Immediately I try to call her, to no luck her phone doesn't pick up. Oh no she has the keys to the apartment, if I can't find her; I will be sleeping on the street. I attempt to call Ethan, who also doesn't pick up. I believe Kate mention that he went back to his apartment which is on the other side of town.

Standing there in a distraught state, the idea of me sleeping on the streets keeps spinning through my mind and then I look up to Christian who was looking down at me with his intense grey eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Are you sure there isn't anyone else that would be able to help you," Christian asked with a concerned tone.

_He speaks!_

"I, I, I," I can feel my eyes tearing up and my lip quivering, "no there is nobody else." I am not originally from here you see and a lot of my friends that went to school, ended up moving else where.

"Well if you want to come with me, I m going somewhere else tonight," Christian says sternly.

"Okay," I squeak.

"Where are you going," I ask.

"The Fights," he whispers.

The Fights! Fights as in punching, kicking, biting. I stand mortified. This is one wild night. It has quickly turned into the Anastasia Steele presents, the odyssey.

"We have to take a cab," he mutters as he throws a tip on the table for the waiter.

This guy needs to lighten up. He probably be a pleasant person if he wasn't so grim all the time. He needs to get up off his cranky ass.

Sitting in the cab, I can hear his soft breathing. He looks out the window with a very troubled demeanour. He has sadness within himself that you can see eating away every piece of his soul. Christian Grey is indeed troubled.

The taxi arrives in an industrial building lot where large groups of men and some real rough looking women are hanging out at. _Oh, sweet Jesus is this some sort of underground fight club_.

Looking rather shabby by this time of the night, I enter into the building following Christian. The September night has cooled of and with my nerves being stretched to the limit, I have a slight shiver tingling through my muscles.

As we enter the room, I see there is a large crowd of people surrounding an area where two men are beating the crap at each other. Suddenly one of the men takes a straight arm punch to the face and it knocks him cold out.

"Is this why you have a black eye," I ask Christian.

"Yes."

"Is this something that you do often," I reply.

"Yes," he says again.

_Come on just give me something to work with so I can understand why you have brought me here, please explain yourself_.

As if he was reading my mind, he says, "I do this to release my frustration and anger."

"Oh, why do you feel this is necessarily for that," I question his logic.

"Because you see, I'm fifty shades fucked up and this is the only thing that helps me sleep at night," he argues bluntly.

I say nothing, why does this man feel so tortured, so lost and yet both his sister and his brother are extraordinarily happy people. They seem like they are moving forward with there lives and this man is stuck, his past is holding him back. The thought of this makes my heart ache.

_My heart aches; I have feelings for this man? He is bad news. Ana don't put your self through this pain, it will eat away at you and he will take you down with him._

Upon a couple more bloody fights, it is Christians turn to enter the imaginary ring. He removes his shirt.

His chest is criss-crossed with scars and bruises. Muscles ripple across his arms and his abs are like a wash board. He looks like a friggen Adonis over there, but a little beat up. Dam I could look at him all day long, that's for sure.

As he stands tall, he towers over his opponent. Who although this man is shorter, he is much stouter than Christian.

The fight begins and everyone who watches begin to howl and holler, trying to rile up the two men fighting. The short man attempts a one-two punch toward Christian, but fails to cause any damage toward him. While attempting to throw a blow towards Christian's face, he is caught mid air around his arm and is twisted backwards. Only causing the man to step side ways, where he attempts to lung at Christian and a wrap his arms around his neck. _I can't watch, this is to horrifying_. Then in a split second, Christian unleashes his fury on the poor man who didn't even stand a chance. He had to be dragged of him who he had pinned to the ground is having the living daylights knocked out of him.

_He lost his self control. This is not good. I need to get out of here, I need to leave._

While attempting to escape the premises of the building lot in hopes of finding a cab, I try and make sense of what I just saw. This is too much for me to handle.

Then panic sets in. Where am I, oh no I'm lost where am I going to go? I can feel the tears rolling down my face now. I am so tired; I just want to go to sleep. I can't get a hold of Kate, she ditched me and now I can't find my way back to the road. All this buildings surrounding me are empty and the hunting sounds of metal shift in the wind make a eerie screech.

I'm so drunk, I can't see straight, everything is becoming fuzzy; this definitely is not good at all. Suddenly I hear foot steps shuffling around me. Christian?

No, it is not him, it is someone else I cannot see them, but they approach me in an aggressive manner. No, no, no stay away from me I scream.

To my horror, my entire body is lifted off the ground and I am slammed into the side of a brick wall. I scream in absolute pain, the sounds are muffled out when he clamps my mouth shut. He is now behind me is jamming his hips into my back end. I can feel his hands slide up my thighs, the heat of them on my skin. I can't move, he has me paralyzed against the wall. The agony is too great; I can't deal with this anymore. Everything is going dark. I struggle to try and fill my lungs with oxygen, but I can't.

As quickly as it happened I feel my body released. The man is pulled away, off of me.

I slide down to the ground, sobbing over takes me. I see the man that had just attempted to assault me being driven into the wall across from where I am now sitting by Christian. Christian jumps on to the man and gives him the beating of a life time. Kicking his way out the man escapes the grip of Christian, running off like a scared little rat.

I sit staring at him, I have never been happier to see anyone in my entire life. I can see Christian chest heaving for air. He gave everything he had and unleashed it on this man that was attacking me. His grey eyes are filled with distress. Soon they become filed with passion.

He crawls over to me and kneeling on his knees, takes his hands and sliding them up my neck to the base of my jaw, cupping my face. Christian slowly brings his lips up to mine and he lets out a slight breath that touches my lips. I lean in and we kiss passionately for what seemed to last a life time.

Christian wraps his jacket around my arms and he picks me up off the ground, whipping the tear from my cheeks.

"That man is lucky he escaped" Christian said softly, biting his tongue to not say more.

Christian takes my hand, helping me steady myself and we proceed towards the street where he flags down a Taxi.

"You are coming home with me," he commands.

I say nothing but agree to follow him.

While we ride in the taxi cab in silence, I see Christian become withdrawn again and he sits with his hand resting on the seat beside him

I go to weave my fingers in with his. He tenses up, but I give him a reassuring smile as he looks at me with his grey eyes, excepting my comfort.

_Fifty Shades, you make my heart melt._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

My eyes sleepily flicker as the cab comes to a stop. Did I just doze off? I am so tired and I want to go to sleep so badly. Determined to stay awake, I struggle to crawl out of the car door. Oh I don't think I can handle anymore tonight. I don't feel very well, oh shit.

Within the second that I manage to leave the car, I land on my knees and the entire contents of my stomach spray across the sidewalk. Oh this is so embarrassing and now sweat is dripping off my skin. Tiredness over whelms me and all I know is that I want to fall asleep.

After a moment of finally coming to my senses, I notice Christian sitting next to me, holding back my hair.

"Feel better now," Christian ask quietly.

"Yeah," I say delusional with tiredness.

The last thing I remember is being picked up and carried towards a building. Quietly I fall asleep in the arms of Christian Grey.

* * *

I feel his touch as I slowly wake from a dark dream. Light was barely visible in the sky as all I see is the twinkle of his eyes. He laid there looking deep into my soul, sliding his hand up my neck and I feel him touch my cheek. _Yes it is real, I am here_.

My body is numb; Christian is my relief from the torture that I had endured last night. It all happened in such a fog; piece of my memory was fragmented and I struggle to piece together the night. All I remember vividly is the kiss that was full of passion and desire. It was something that I didn't expect from him in the emotional state that he is in.

As we lay there, not a word was spoken. Christian Grey is a man with little to say, something that I quite quickly came to learn about him very fast. Maybe one day he will have peace, but today is not his time. A different form of communication is required to fully understand who he is and it requires no words to be passed.

Struggling to suppress my bladder, I decide rather than spoil this moment, it is better to just go to the bathroom and be done with it.

All finished, a rather brilliant plan comes to my mind. _Anastasia Steele, you devious little devil, this is not your way, this is not something you do._

Standing looking at my self in the mirror, the plan quickly unfolds in my brain. What if he rejects me, he doesn't want to do this. He had the chance last night but he didn't do anything. This is going to be one heck of a risk.

* * *

Slowly as I exit the bathroom, I enter the bedroom. A look of surprise crosses his face. I stand in front of his bed across from him. Our eyes meet with intensity and now all I know is that we are doing this now.

He looks at my body, where minutes ago I was still dressed in my black silk dress. Now all I am wear is my bra and underwear.

Slowly I crawl onto the end of the bed and I make my way up where I can feel is legs beneath the covers, where he laid slightly sitting up in bed. As I bring my self to sit straddled on top of his lap our eyes never leave contact with one another.

Moments passed, we just sat there staring at one and another and I can feel his breathing increase as was mine. Little by little I feel his hands slide up my back towards my shoulders and I can truly feel the strength and power that they posse.

For hands of someone so shattered as if they have been to hell and back, Christian's places me with such care as he gracefully rolls me to lay on the bed and I feel his breath on my chest where he now lays over top of me.

I close my eyes as the morning sun proceeds to draw streaks of light across the room where time becomes lost to oblivion as we make love in his bed.

* * *

The morning soon faded and noon came quickly as the bright sun fiercely glared through the windows of the apartment. Christian had already risen, he insisted that I remain to rest and recover from last night. I needed to sleep today as the thought of work on Monday crossed my mined. Jack Hyde, that slimy bastard will be there and I will have to spend one more week dealing with him until he is off to a conference all next week.

As I slowly climb out of bed, I notice a large white T-shit sitting on top of a dresser. I grab it and I throw it on. It is a large shirt that I wear more like a dress. My small frame is dwarfed by Christian's heroic figure.

Walking into the through the Kitchen I notice that Christian was nowhere to be seen.

Sitting at the end of the kitchen's breakfast bar on top of a rather tall stool, I finally decide to face reality where I find 10 missed phone calls and several unread messages all from Kate on my phone.

I am not thrilled with Kate and how she abandons me. Considering what had just happened over the last few hours, it has definitely changed the mood of how I fell about her. I guess everything that has happened does happen for a reason and the past is impossible to change.

* * *

Christian still doesn't come back after a lengthy time of waiting. I reluctantly as much as I would love to lie around doing nothing I call Kate.

"Where the heck are you Steele," Kate loudly voices her concern.

"I thought the worst has happened to you, you could have been raped or something," she says with a dramatic tone of urgency.

_Could of? Boy are you on the money._

"I'm okay, but I'm not thrilled with how you abandoned me at the restaurant," I say with a hiss.

Kate sounded silent for a brief moment.

"I'm sorry, I don't now what came over me last night," she says apologetically.

"We both know what came over you last night," I say with a giggle, lighting the mood.

Kate lets out a brief sigh.

"What is up with you? Where are you," Kate asks concerned again.

Oh, I don't exactly know where I am. After looking quickly around the apartment, I find a piece of mail addressed to the apartment building that I am in and I give Kate the address.

"What the heck are you doing on that side of town," she asks.

"Don't ask," I reply, not giving anything away.

"Okay I'll be by in a couple minutes to get you," she says, "sit tight."

After a couple minutes past, an hour rolled around. No Kate and no Christian. As the time passed, apprehension crossed my mind. _Oh god, what am I doing here with this guy? Why am I so stupid? I barely know this man and I honestly don't need this in my life. He is too much damaged goods and frankly, I don't want to have anything to do with it in my life._

As my mind begins to play tricks with me, questioning every move that I have taken over the past two days, I wonder if I should I leave my phone number or should I just end this now before I put too much at stake? He will hardly talk to me and the few words he does say are so cold and lacking any humanity to them.

Dressed in my black dress once again, I am ready for Kate to pick me up at this point, strong enough that if I leave, I won't have to deal with facing him, saying good bye or questioning my motives of how I will deal with him in the future.

Then the feelings off what happened this morning strike me and I decide that I should at least leave him my number, out of kindness so that I don't totally cut him off.

As I grab a pen and a small post it note, I notice that Kate's Mercedes has just pulled up on the other side of the street through the window. Panic consumes me as the pressure pulls at my heart strings. I quickly scratch the word "Goodbye" across the piece of note paper and I rush for the exit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The week drew on as each day past with nothing particularly out of the ordinary having occurred in the shadow of last weekend, which I must add I have been barely able to acknowledge. Even after several days passing, my heart-ach is still piercing, maybe it is just easier to box up all these feelings and ship them over into another dimension, somewhere that I won't every have to deal with them again.

Outside of my emotional turmoil, the week has been rather peaceful since Jack Hyde has been off sick the entire week. Apparently he had become deathly ill and is unable to make an appearance at work. Hopefully for the sake of the office and the productivity it has blessed us with, Jack will be gone for the rest of the week.

Kate would come and go; briefly saying hello and being polite, but little was spoken between us as a great gap of awkward silence that divides us becomes even greater. Having hardly spoken a true word about Saturday night and Sunday morning Kate has been left in the dark. I do need to talk with her. This is stupid; Kate is one of my closets friends that I have ever had in my entire life. I will not let such an event come between us, holding our friendship hostage. She has always been there to support me in every endeavour and will be there when I need her the most; I guess I'll just have to ignore her little disappearing act.

When Thursday rolled around, work slowed to a crawl; we really are more productive when Jack isn't around. The day grew dull and I was ahead of schedule waiting for a review from a associate editor which will not be expected back until next Monday.

Attempting to spend my time in a useful manner, I find myself roaming the office where I soon notice Kate. I shuffle over to her quietly to see how her day is.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Just preparing some questions," she says looking down at her paper with deep thought.

"Oh, sorry, I won't bother you then."

"It's okay, I am about to go out to do some research for an article," Kate says slightly looking up to me.

"Do you need any help, there isn't much more I can do around here and I need a change of scenery."

"I have to interview an entrepreneur for this business article I'm working on," Kate asks with a large grin now spread across her face, "you can shadow me if you want, it won't be anything really interesting."

"Who are you going to interview?"

"Oh no one particularly interesting," she says.

Within the next half hour, we were off; I had let my supervisor Kelly know I was out helping Kate. She was more than thrilled to let me go. If Jack had been in here place, I would have never been aloud to go.

* * *

Making our way across town, Kate and I approach a mid-size office building that apparently houses multiple corporations. Security instructs us toward the elevators where I am still kept in the dark as to who we are going to interview. It's odd; usually there is some sort of sign that list the business names, but there is nothing. This must be some type of private office, not open to the public to come and go as they please. The interview is probably some sort of exclusive deal that Kate managed to wrestle up.

The elevator doors slide open and the name Grey Construction is written across the entrance doors. Yeah Kate definitely wrestled this one up, in bed. The room that we enter is the reception which is dressed with an industrial style. It was an excaudate architectural statement, to establish their ability like a peacock spanning its feathers.

Kate was oblivious to the over done decorations of the office; she is all business now, intent with picking apart the information that is presented to her.

Kate approaches the front desk with immense confidence as she meets the eyes of the receptionist; she is a finely dressed woman with an olive skin complexion, dark green eyes and wearing a sharp black dress.

"Hello, how may I help you," the women asks.

"We are here from TIM for an interview with Mr. Elliot Grey," Kate replies.

"Just one moment," the woman looks down at her computer screen.

"Yes, Miss Kate Kavanagh, I have you scheduled in for today," while saying this she looks at Kate and the slowly to me puzzled.

"This is Anastasia Steele, she is my assistant today," Kate says in reply to the receptionist confused expression.

"Oh, okay," the women says, "I'll have you two sit in the seating area, Mr. Grey will just be a few minutes."

Moments later, another tale young woman approaches us.

"Please follow me Miss Kavanagh and Miss Steele."

We are soon on our feet and making our way towards the entrance of an office. Upon entering the room I see Elliot standing near a seating area where two leather couches sit. His boyish grin beams across the room as he notices Kate's presence. He gestures for us to sit across from him. He sits and Kate is directly across from him, I make my way around the couch to sit next Kate and which places some distance between Elliot and I in attempt to draw as little attention to myself as possible. Interviews cause me stress and even though I now Elliot, it still is nerve racking to be in this sort of environment.

"Hello, how has this fine day been treating you two," he asks with enthusiasm.

"Hello," we both reply.

"It has been quite well," Kate adds her remarks, "would you mind if I ask you a few questions about your business and how you found your path to success."

He smirks and replies "go on."

Kate begins and asks Elliot different questions about him as a business person, I quietly listen in as she does all the talking. Elliot is quite an outgoing person, but I suspect even more so he is trying to impress Kate. She takes this to her advantage; she will milk it for whatever information she is capable of getting her hands on. Kate is too ambitious for her own good, I thought with a little humour wandering across my mind. Elliot is just so open and confident of himself, just like Mia, but so unlike his younger brother. It is quite puzzling, trying to fit the pieces together just doesn't add up.

Upon watching the communication between Kate and Elliot be thrown back a forth, I notice Elliot doesn't particularly look like either of his siblings, for that matter neither do any of them. I am having a very hard time trying to find similarities between them and then as an answer to my question, Kate asks Elliot "So you where adopted, have this at all played a role in your success."

Adopted! That answers a lot of unanswered questions. It makes so much sense, how they all look different. Assuming Christian is adopted as well, something horrible must have happened to him before he became a grey. The thought of it makes my heart ache and my stomach churn.

I wonder, what could have happened to make him so shut down, he must have been in such dire circumstances to cause such an affect on him today. Kate and Elliot wrapped up the interview; I sit quietly next to them off in my own little world, barely listening to a word they had said.

While Kate was putting her recorded material away; Elliot asks me "we missed you Saturday night, where did you go?"

The question is shocking. What! You abandoned me! I was nearly raped by some predator in an industrial building lot! Sitting there on his couch I bite my tongue trying to come up with some sort of a respectable answer because that event will go with me to my grave, "Umm…"

Kate intervenes and replies for me, "I picked her up at someone's apartment; I think it was your brothers."

I just sit there and glare at her. I can't believe you said that, this is so embarrassing. I feel like rolling into a small little ball where no one will ever look at me again.

I see the expression of Elliot change and he knows by the colour of my face that is exactly what happened. He strokes his chin with intrigue as his eyes wander into thought.

"What is his deal, there is something off about your brother?" Kate asks.

While looking at me for a few moments, Elliot replies "like me he is adopted…"

I knew it!

Elliot goes on "He had a traumatic childhood and he has been dealing with depression for most of his life. He ran away from home when he was 15, Christian eventually came back home and tried to get his life back on track. He went to University in the States and after a couple years it all fell apart for him again."

Elliot's expression changes to sadness, "Christian's a brilliant man, but he is unable to take any form of discipline and he just can't keep it together. I have him working for me as a labourer which seems to keep him in order. But with everything that has happened in the past I am the only one in my family that still speaks to him."

Elliot looks up to me with his sad eyes now leaning his elbows on his knees, "Have you spoken to him since Saturday nights?"

"No, he disappeared in the morning," I say devastated with the facts I was just informed with.

"Oh, I m worried about him, he has become so shut down," Elliot replies.

"Yeah, I noticed…"

"What do you think happened to him on Sunday?" I ask.

"He probably went for a run or something, he has a lot of frustrated energy he needs to get out of his system," Elliot replies, "have you talked with him since Sunday."

"No, he just disappeared so I thought…"

"That's typical of him," says Elliot, "If you're interested in seeing him again; I'll probably meet up with him again."

Fat Chance! That's not going to happen; going out on weekends is just a gateway to bad things happening.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

A/K - I know there isn't much about Christian right now, but I promise there will be much more. This storey is just getting started. I have also come to the conclusion after this story, I'll do a story in Christians POV, eventually.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Upon arriving home, the smell of cigarette smoke and throbbing loud music that vibrates from the apartment above mine aggravates my senses. I shake my fist at the ceiling; really, I don't need this right now, not today. After Elliot telling me a about Christians past, it feels like I have been hit in the stomach by a bag of rocks. I am dealing with some much emotion right now and I don't need to come home from such a long commute to loud, obnoxious neighbours and a stinky apartment.

Flopping over onto the couch with disgust, I check my cell phone_. It is quite lonely here_.

I soon find myself dialling Kate's number in distress, it rings a couple times and then..

"Hello," answers Kate.

"Can I come live with you?" I say with an exhausted huff.

"Of course you can! I coming to get you," Kate says with great excitement.

"Wha, Wait."

Kate hangs up the phone in a hurry. I can't move out now, this day, it doesn't work like that!

Although everything I own can probably be packed into three Rubbermaid containers.

In less than 30 minutes and after a brief meeting with my landlord, Kate's loud knock on my door pulses across the small apartment's walls.

"I'm here to collect you," she says with her arms extended out, quickly as she enters the apartment reality hits her, "can you even move out today? Don't you have to give a months notice or something?"

"The landlord says I can move out whenever I like so I have until the end of the month," I reply, "she has a niece that wants to move in as soon as possible, so it was no problem with her."

"Perfect, lets get you packed up," Kate says enthusiastically clapping her hands together, "By the way, I'll rent you the room in my apartment cheap, so don't worry about that."

"Okay, that's probably important detail to know."

An hour and half later, my life is packed away and we are ready to leave. It helps that the apartment was already furnished so all I had to collect was my clothing, some books and a blanket.

* * *

It is so nice to just have such a short commute to and from work. There was no Jack to disturb me today. Friday is turning out to be a good day and it is almost over, hopefully my luck will make it to the end of the night. Curled up on the couch, I am reading a classic novel and drinking a hot cup of tea. The steam rises up of the cup and the smell immerses my senses, it is so relaxing.

"Come on Ana, we're going out for Supper," Kate calls to me from the other room.

Dressed in my pyjamas, I hug a pillow on the sofa, "I don't want to go, and I'm too comfy."

Elliot and Christian are going to be here in 40 minutes, do you want them to see you in your pink unicorn pyjamas?," Kate says in a authoritative tone.

"What!" I say with a shriek, "There coming here?"

"Yes, soon," replied Kate.

I throw the pillow over my face, "just shoot me now! Put me out of my misery!"

Being extremely dramatic, I slide off the sofa onto the floor flopped over.

"Anastasia Steele, I am not your mother it is time that you grow up and face the world," she says with both her hands resting on her hips, "now get your ass in the shower and pull yourself together."

Why do I have to face the world? Why can't I be just like some hermit that lives in a small isolated cabin? I am such a mess of contradicting emotions, I want more in life, yet I can't be bothered to lift a finger. I need to get my ass in gear and be a stronger person that can keep it together for one night, not flake out when times get tough.

With a brief mental pep talk, I pull myself off the ground and march with confident steps towards the bathroom. I am going to look good; these boys won't know what will hit them tonight.

After finally blow drying my hair, I quickly straighten it and I apply a little makeup to my face, not much, but just enough. Searching through my closet, I struggle to find an acceptable out fit, throwing pieces of clothing across the room. Hmm, maybe I should raid Kate's closet. I run out of the room in a hurry, I quickly glance at the clock on the stove; ten minutes until they arrive, anxiety courses through my veins and I quicken my step towards Kate's room.

As I slide into her room, she is dressed and ready, sitting on her bed working on her computer.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" I ask.

"Yeah, go for it," she swats her hand lazily towards me as she continues to focus on the computer screen. She must be working on her article, she is intently focused.

Making my way towards her closet, I open the doors and clothes pop out as if they are trying to escape their cramped quarters. "Geez you have a lot of clothes," asserting my observation.

Kate just mumbles under her breath, as if she is trying to acknowledging me, but is obviously off in a different world.

I grab a pair of black skinny jeans, and a fancy v-neck top, it is beige with a cropped bottom that is also v-shaped.

All dressed, I think to myself; I look good, these jeans fit great and with the shirt, you can slightly see the top of my hip bone. I grab a pair of skin tone flats and I am ready to go.

Not a second later, a knock on the door suddenly causes me to jump out of my skin and anxiety overwhelms me once again. An idea crosses my mind; _I should just_ _hide in the closet, then I won't have to do this_… I slap that stupid thought down immediately.

Revving up my nerves to deal with this, I slightly bounce around my bedroom on my tip's toes trying to shake off any nerves that are causing me to feel butterflies; _Christian Grey is in the next room_. Okay Ana, keep it together, your not some gushing preteen. I really am going crazy.

After taking a brief gasp of air and checking myself in the mirror, I wrangle up all my confidence and I enter the living room. Standing there are three people. Kate and Elliot are totally absorbed by each others presence. The other person is sitting on a stool by the counter with their back towards me. I notice the dark wild copper hair that shines with brilliance. His muscular frame sits slightly hunched over the counter with want appears to be a glass with some type of clear beverage in it.

Kate notices me and asks, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'll just get my jacket."

As I turn back to my room, I see the coppered hair man slightly turns his head and I spot is dark grey eyes. I see a small glimmer as he sees me and it resonates with him. As fast as it happened, his eyes sink to the ground.

I hurry to my room and grab a jacket, his presence has such an affect on me and it sends a chill down my spine.

* * *

A/K

I'll try and get the chapters out faster. I work two jobs and I have two show horses to keep fit, so life is a little busy... I will get more out tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

The group of us are placed at a table in a fancy Italian restaurant downtown. I sit nervously across from Christian who is looking down at his menu, obviously trying to avoid any form of interaction. Kate and Elliot are both engrossed in conversation; their fixation with each other has reached a new sickening level. Occasionally I would make an effort to try and become involved in the conversation, but my uneasiness has gotten the better of me and I resort to hardly saying a peep.

In an attempt to try and evade the awkward silence between both me and Christian, I follow his lead and look down at my menu. _Hmm, everything looks so delicious. My appetite has gone into overdrive recently, what will I have?_ I fumble through the menu, briefly falling into slight daze thinking about the food and I soon forget about the giant block of ice sitting across from me.

Then suddenly I feel a small nudge to my one foot. What the heck, I look up and Christian is staring at me with an intent gaze. "What?" I ask with a soft yet annoyed tone. His interruption of my thoughts has cause me to slightly sour.

He whispers to me under his breath quietly, "stop doing that."

"Doing what?" I word with my mouth.

"Biting your lip," Christian lightly whispers with desire filling his eyes. Something I would have missed if I wasn't so focused on him.

I feel heat overwhelm my body, what is that supposed to mean. I just stare at him, speechless. He stares back at me and we sit there until the waitress approaches the table interrupting our moment. She begins to talk overuse in an exceedingly excited tone. I barley hear a word she says as the presence of Christian across the table from me is all that is occupying my mind.

"Can we please get two bottles of wine," Kate asks the waitress.

Mme, wine… Kate you have my number right now. The waitress goes around the table and asks everyone what they want to order, and I order a light meal, no longer am I hungry for food. Christian gives me a sharp glance as if he detests my order. The chipper waitress scratches some notes onto the bill and then she turns in a hasten step to leave us on our own. Kate and Elliot continue their passionate conversation as I attempt to appear slightly interested. Every so often I would glance out the corner of my eye and I would see Christian, watching me with intent. The restaurant was darkly lit, yet the sparkle of his eyes where as brilliant as they where in day light.

With all this passion being batted between us, I stammer up the confidence and slowly slide my foot up the inside of his lower leg just below his calf. The small nudge catches his attention and he shifts in his seat out of restlessness. Christian acting unassumingly takes his hand and brushes it through his wild hair.

To add just a little more icing on the cake I bite my bottom lip in an attempt to tease him some more. I notice his reaction as he lets a small smile slip across his face.

Our dishes arrive and the mood continues through the courses. He would occasionally gives me a look that causes me to slightly tense up, keeping me in check. Christian knows how to press the right buttons. Hardly anything was spoken between us, as little is all that needs to be said, our body language does all the talking.

After supper, the dishes are cleared away, Kate and Elliot decide that they are going to take different path home from us and leave the restaurant swiftly. Bring on the silence; they have been the only two talking at the table this whole time.

"Were going to get going, I'll see you later Ana," says Kate who appear to look like they have been having too much wine.

"Okay I'll see you later, I'll find my way home," I reply.

I watch Elliot lead Kate across the restaurant to the exit by her hand, once they are out of sight I look back at Christian who is staring back at me with his smouldering grey eyes.

After sitting for a couple more minutes in silence, my thoughts are rushing through my head and it leads me back to the whole biting lip thing, "What was that about?"

"Huh?" He replies with confusion back to me about my inquiry.

"About biting my lip, what's the problem with that?"

"It sets me off, I start to think about the things that I want to do to you."

_What! Holy shit is this hot_. I slightly lean in trying to interrogate his thoughts, "what sort of things do you want to do to me?"

His lips arch into a smile and he just gazes back at me silent. I didn't need to ask, I know what you're thinking. Thank you wine for making me brave right now, this wouldn't be happening without you.

Christian is first to rise from the table, he grabs his jacket but instead of putting it on, he throws it over his shoulder. "Follow me," he commands.

I slightly cock my head sideways. What is this? Where are you taking me? He grabs my hand and leads me across the restaurant, his grip is tight and his motion is full of energy. Christian leads me down a hall way, where we reach a door into a bathroom that is separated from the others, one of those individual bathrooms you can lock. What is going on? I think slightly excited. He looks up and down the hall way, quickly manoeuvring me through the door.

As he enters behind me, I look arond and his eyes hits mine. Barely am I able to control myself. I just want to run and jump on him. Instead I stay standing two meters away, my breathing has increased and I feel my heart pounding. He paces for a moment in the bathroom and then stops suddenly to ask, "Do you want to do this?"

Now backed against the way, I reply with eagerness "Yes!"

Christian runs his hands through his hair. I really love it when he does that, it sends a tingle through my body. His grey eyes darken as he makes eye contact with mine. Soon enough he approaches me and grabs my hips with his hands pushing me against the wall. His body is pressed against mine and he runs his lips up and done my neck and across my chest. My breathing increases to a pant when his lips meet mine. I feel his heart racing and he fucks me hard, it that bathroom of the Italian restaurant.

* * *

After doing up my pants I can see Christian sliding his Jacket onto his long muscular arms. His hair is wild with a just fucked doo. I struggle to stand on my feet, my muscles are done. Christian quickly swoops in to help me steady myself. He tightly grips his arms around my body and I can smell hi aroma, it is enticing. We stand there for a few minutes as his arms are wrapped around me. I turn in his arms to be able to look up at his face and I slide my hand up his chest. I feel his body tenses up and Christian pushes me away lightly.

"Is everything alright?" I ask concerned by this. Christian stays silent, leaving me in the dark.

"Lets go, I'll take you home," as Christian finally announces something, his mood has dramatically darkened compared to just five a couple minutes ago.

"Wait," I struggle to catch up to him, he is on his way out the bathroom door, "can we please talk."

"What is there to talk about," Christian hisses back at me, now he is just being nasty.

"Jesus Christ, what crawled up your ass?" I reply to his rude attitude, "You don't get off screwing around with me and pissing off like nothing has happened."

"I know you have issues, your brother told me about your past, but you have no right acting like this towards me," I say giving him a piece of my mind.

"Did he!?" Christian says as he turns around to face me, "so my brother told you about me, well congratulations, you know everything now!"

Christians voice booms and I stand beneath him, frighten. Well fuck, this is not going good. "I just want to get to know you! Is that so much to ask?" My voice becomes louder as I come to match his tone. "Why is it impossible to get to know you? I understand you have problems but if you shut them out and you'll never face them!"

"Ana, I don't need a psychiatrist…" he trails off after a brief thought. Yeah, he needs one.

"I don't want to be your psychiatrist, I just want to be your friend," I plead with him, "if you haven't notice, I care about you and I'm pretty sure you care about me."

His eyes soften to a lighter shade of grey, "I can't be that to you, this isn't what I am."

"Try, for me at least."

"I sorry, I can't do it," he says to me and I feel my heart shatter. Does he really believe that torturing himself, depriving any form of human comfort from his life is his only option?

"Well if it's going to be like this, then I'm done! I'm not some piece of ass you can call on whenever you feel like it," I say with my arms crossed. "You know I'll be there if you need a friend, but if you want more, I m not going to wait forever!," I say and I move past him out the restaurant's exit. The cool September air hits my skin and I feel like I have just been shot threw the heart.

I start to march down the sidewalk toward the subway, I done with this shit. I'm going home. Christian can just piss off now, but he catches up with me. In my form of distaste for him no I refuse to face him.

"I going home, I don't need you help."

"Ana. Dammit. Stop!" Christian grabs me by the arm. I swing around and pull myself away from his grip.

"Don't touch me!" I shout at him with a sharp voice.

* * *

I stomp off towards the subway terminal, leaving Christian in my dust.

Upon arriving at the subway station near my apartment, I trudge up the street exhausted. As I walk alone on the street I notice the store that I was in last week. Hmm, I may make an appearance her tomorrow I say rebelling against my subconscious that is swing her arms in protest at the whole idea. I need something in my life. Christian has already squandered my innocence, what do I have to loose now.


End file.
